Pride & Prejudice & Music
by Missterious Purrincess
Summary: Song Parodies about Pride and Prejudice.
1. Dear Mr Bennet

**So I should be writing our school activity wherein we have to make a song parody about our chosen professions, but I got this instead…**

**"Dear Mr. Bennet"**

**Song Recommended: Dear Future Husband by Meghan Trainor**

**Here it goes…**

* * *

**MR. BENNET'S STUDY – DAY**

The room is moderately large but neat. The bookshelves and desk are filled with books of different genres and topics. Two chairs are facing one another in front of the wooden desk and another chair is place behind it.

MR BENNET sits at the chair behind his desk, holding a book in his right hand. He flicks the book to the next page, using his other hand when the door opens to reveal an excited MRS BENNET who settled herself on one of the two chairs across her husband.

**MRS BENNET**

(Singing)

_Dear Mr. Bennet_

_Here's a few things_

_You'll need to do if you don't want_

_Poor nerves to haunt you all your life_

MR BENNET sets down his book and looks at his wife. He props up his chin both hands, looking ready to listen. He knows his wife will not leave him alone until she says what she has to say so he lets her continue.

The spotlight is on MRS. BENNET.

**MRS BENNET**

(Singing)

_Go to Netherfield_

_Meet Mr. Bingley_

_And introduce the girls at the Assemba-lay_

_'Cause if you do it right_

Here, MRS BENNET straightens on her sit and smiles at her husband.

**MRS BENNET**

(Singing)

_I'll be the perfect wife_

_Won't complain at all_

_And rest my poor nerves_

_You got your own mission_

_But, my dear, so do I_

MRS BENNET stands up.

**MRS BENNET**

(Singing)

_So don't be thinking I'll be home and baking apple pies_

_I could ask Hill and Cook_

_While you go read your book_

MRS BENNET walks towards MR BENNET's side.

The spotlight follows MRS BENNET.

**MRS BENNET**

(Singing)

_Match-make with me_

_Come, match-make with me_

_You gotta know how to find the girls a husband_

_And when my poor nerves are vexed_

_Tell me everything's alright_

MRS BENNET places her chin or MR BENNET's shoulder.

**MRS BENNET**

(Singing)

_Dear Mr. Bennet_

_Here's a few things_

_You'll need to do if you don't want_

_Poor nerves to haunt you all your life_

MRS BENNET now sits herself on the wooden desk and dangles her legs on the side.

**MRS BENNET**

(Singing)

_Dear Mr. Bennet_

_If you really want that peace and quiet_

_Tell me you visited that young man on dinner tonight_

MRS BENNET realises that she's sitting on a book. She stands up again, picks up the book and place it on the nearest shelf.

**MRS BENNET**

(Singing)

_After every fight_

_Just apologize_

_And maybe help me set the girls up with a man_

_Even if I was wrong_

MRS BENNET points at herself in disbelief and shakes her head.

**MRS BENNET**

(Singing)

_You know I'm never wrong_

_Why disagree?_

_Why, why disagree?_

MRS BENNET then drapes herself on the curtain behind MR BENNET.

**MRS BENNET**

(Singing)

_You gotta know how to find the girls a husband_

_Even if they don't want it_

_Tell me everything's alright_

MRS BENNET then settles herself on MR BENNET's lap and smiles at him.

**MRS BENNET**

(Singing)

_Dear Mr. Bennet_

_Here's a few things_

_You'll need to do if you don't want_

_Poor nerves to haunt you all your life_

MRS BENNET pulls on MR BENNET's cravat so that their faces are closer.

**MRS BENNET**

(Singing)

_Dear Mr. Bennet_

_Match make with me_

_Don't tease me dearest_

_I don't want to end up in hedgerows when you die_

MRS BENNET kisses MR BENNET on the cheek before she stands up and walks toward the door. Before she opens the door, MRS BENNET turns her head back to her husband.

**MRS BENNET**

(Singing)

_Mr. Bennet, don't vex me now_

The door to MR BENNET's study closes shut and MR BENNET sits in silence.

FADE TO BLACK.

* * *

BONUS:

**LONGBOURN'S SITTING ROOM – DAY**

The room is large but not spacious. A couch is place on the middle and two coffee tables of different shape and size are beside it. There are also a few wooden chairs scattered around and a cabinet is located on the corner.

Multiple frames and decorations hang on the wall but nobody looks at it. The BENNET SISTERS' gazes are all focus on MR BENNET's study where MRS BENNET just exits from.

LYDIA and KITTY are sitting on the two chairs behind the couch, giggling uncontrollably. ELIZABETH is on the far end of the couch, her hands grasping the couch's arm, her expression full of shock. JANE is standing beside her, one hand rubbing ELIZABETH's back. MARY sits on the corner across them, looking in disapproval.

**KITTY**

(Spoken in between giggles)

Who knew Mama could sing like that?

**LYDIA**

(Spoken in between giggles)

Maybe you should take singing lessons from Mama, Mary.

**MARY**

(Spoken quietly)

I do not want to sing like that.

**ELIZABETH**

(Spoken in disbelief)

I could not believe it.

**JANE**

(Spoken)

I told you eavesdropping is bad.

* * *

**This is so weird even I can't comprehend what happened.**


	2. Our Love Story

**Maybe it was the quarantine's effect on me, but here's another one.**

**"Love at First Sight"**

**Song Recommended: Love Story by Taylor Swift**

**Here it goes…**

* * *

**MERYTON ASSEMBLY ROOM - NIGHT**

The room is large with chandeliers emitting light from the ceiling. Musicians are on one corner of the room happily playing their respective instruments. THE PEOPLE are doing various activities – many dancing and others chatting with their friends.

JANE BENNET stands beside MRS. BENNET, the two of them having clear view of the entrance. After a few moments, the music stops and the NETHERFIELD PARTY enter, MR. BINGLEY walking ahead with MISS BINGLEY. THE HURSTS and MR. DARCY are following behind the BINGLEYS.

The spotlight is on JANE.

**JANE**

(Singing)

_Minutes ago when I first saw you_

_I close my eyes and a flashback starts_

_I'm standing there,_

_With my family somewhere_

LYDIA is dancing happily with her partner while KITTY stands by the punch area talking with a young man. MARY is playing on the pianoforte and ELIZABETH is sitting quietly to the side with CHARLOTTE LUCAS.

**JANE**

(Singing)

_I see the lights_

_See the party, the ball gowns_

_See you make your way_

JANE and MR. BINGLEY's eyes meet. MR. BINGLEY walks towards JANE.

Here, MRS BENNET straightens her posture and grasps JANE's arm. MR BINGLEY stops in front of them and bowed.

**JANE**

(Singing)

_Through the crowd and bowed, "Hello."_

_Little did I know_

MRS. BENNET smiles.

**JANE**

(Singing)

_That you were Mr. Bingley, our new neighbour._

_And my mama said, "Sir, this is my beautiful Jane."_

_Then you asked me for a dance after we've been introdu-uced_

_And I said "I am not engaged, Sir._

_It will be my pleasure to dance."_

MR. BINGLEY leads JANE to the dance floor.

The spotlight follows them.

**JANE**

(Singing)

_You took my hand and led me to the dance floor_

_You smiled like a Prince_

_And I felt like a Princess_

_The start of our story_

_At the Assembly_

MR. BINGLEY and JANE continue gazing at each other's eyes.

FADE TO BLACK.


	3. Stitches

**I thought I'd make a different format for this third one since it's Darcy's POV – favouritism and all that.**

**Anyway, here it goes.**

**Recommended Song: Stitches by Shawn Mendes**

* * *

Fitzwilliam Darcy sat quietly in Pemberly's music room. His sister, Georgiana, was now asleep considering the lateness of the hour. The Master of Pemberly would also like to rest but he found that he could not. It has been three weeks after he left Rosings and he has not been the same man he was. He couldn't eat, sleep, or even work properly.

After setting down his empty glass of brandy on the table, he proceeded to the pianoforte and took a seat on the chair in front of it. Perhaps, music could help him heal.

He started to play a few keys before words started pouring out of his mouth.

"_I thought that I've been hurt before_

_But no one's ever left me quite this sore_

_Your words cut deeper than a knife_

_Now I need someone to breathe me back to life."_

Darcy closed his eyes remembering Elizabeth's response to his proposal. 'Last man in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to marry,' was echoing in his head.

_"Your feelings I did not consider_

_I don't know your opinion of me is bad_

_But if I quit thinking you're my lady"_

His mind went back to Elizabeth's accusations against him. Most of them were sounded, except for the one regarding Wickham. Darcy wondered if Elizabeth believed his letter. Did it change her mind, at least a little?

Closing his eyes, Darcy increased the volume of his voice as he sang the next two words. Perhaps if he sang it loud enough, his brain would register that it was the right thing to do.

_"Move on!"_

Without meaning to, a lone tear fell down from his eye. He couldn't help it. He could not move on. He wouldn't be able to. Elizabeth had taken a part of him with her and while he had realised that he did not really love her when he made his proposal (if he did then he would not have tried so hard to fight his feelings), he had also realised that his love for her after the rejection only seemed to grow.

_"You watch me bleed until I can't breathe_

_I'm shaking, falling onto my knees_

_And now that I'm without your presence_

_I'll be needing stitches"_

His initial response was anger, of course. He was mad at her refusal. How dare she reject him? But his anger did not last. A week after her rejection and he started seeing his mistakes. Now, he was thankful for her rebukes for he was a better man for it.

_"I'm tripping over myself_

_Aching, hoping you would come help_

_And now that I'm without your presence_

_I'll be needing stitches"_

Still, a part of him wished that he could show her how she humbled him. He could not bear knowing that she thought so ill of him.

_"Just like a moth drawn to a flame_

_Oh you lured me in, you're everything but plain"_

He remembered his words at the assembly. How could he have declared her to be 'tolerable and not handsome enough' when she was the most bewitching creature he had ever seen?

"_Your bitter words hurt me too much_

_Now I'm gonna reap what I sow_

_I'm left seeing red on my own_"

Perhaps he deserved this pain, his suffering. He had insulted her before they were even introduced and even in his proposal after he had claimed to love her.

_"This feeling in my bones is anger_

_I don't know if I'll make it out alive_

_If I quit thinking you're my Lizzy"_

Darcy closed his eyes again and hit the keys on the pianoforte harder. It pained him to know that he could never call her his.

_"Move on!"_

Tears now started streaming down his face. He did not bother wiping them. Instead he continued to play, singing the previous lyrics.

_"You watch me bleed until I can't breathe_

_I'm shaking, falling onto my knees_

_And now that I'm without your presence_

_I'll be needing stitches."_

He thought of how much power she had over him. She was the only one who could hurt him like this. But then again, he had caused himself this pain.

_"I'm tripping over myself_

_Aching, wishing you would come help_

_And now that I'm without your presence_

_I'll be needing stitches."_

If she knew that he had taken her words to heart and tried to become a better man, would she give him a chance? Frustrated by his wishful thoughts, Darcy slowed the pace of his song.

_"Elizabeth Bennet_

_I have to get you out of my head_

_Elizabeth Bennet_

_And all the words you said"_

At the back of his head, Darcy knew that he could never forget Elizabeth, even if he truly wished to. Still, a part of him thought that if he repeated the mantra he created, he would hurt less. So, he sang louder.

_"Elizabeth Bennet_

_Have to get you out of my head_

_Elizabeth Bennet_

_All the words you said"_

He repeated, even louder than the last time.

_"Elizabeth Bennet_

_Have to get you out of my head_

_Elizabeth Bennet_

_I'm gonna wind up dead_

_Elizabeth Bennet_

_Have to get you out of my head, get you out of my head"_

As his voice increase in volume, his playing became more aggressive.

_"You watch me _

_Falling on my knees_

_I'll be needing stitches_

_Begging, 'Lizzy, please' _

_And now that I'm without your presence_

_I'll be needing stitches"_

This time, his voice grew weak as he repeat the last lines.

_"And now that I'm without your presence_

_I'll be needing stitches"_

Letting the last of his tears fall, Fitzwilliam Darcy whispered his last words to the wind.

_"And now that I'm without your presence_

_I'll be needing stitches."_


	4. Something There

**To Jansfamily4, here's the Pemberly Chapter. I'm not sure what song could I use for Lizzy yet but sure, I'll write one.**

**"At Pemberly"**

**Song Recommended: Something There from Beauty and the Beast**

**I didn't really change many lyrics in this one but here it goes…**

* * *

If Elizabeth Bennet thought nothing could surprise her more than Mr. Darcy's sudden appearance at Pemberly (yes, it was his estate but Elizabeth was told that he was not home!) and seeing him in such a state that was barely proper (she would never admit out loud but he did look so very handsome though, even if he was dripping wet), she was wrong.

Because just about as she was going for the carriage to leave, her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner following behind her, Mr. Darcy appeared again and asked her to introduce him to her relatives. What was happening?

Elizabeth stood a few yards away from them, trying to compose herself, and watched him talk to her dearest relations. Without really meaning to, she began to hum and soon words left her lips in the form of a song.

_"There's something sweet; it's got me floored_

_'Cause he was mean and he was proud and self-assured_

_But now he's dear and so unsure_

_I wonder why I didn't see it there before."_

Fitzwilliam Darcy lay peacefully on his bed that night for the first time in months. By some miracle, he had encountered Elizabeth again – and at his ancestral home too! He smiled to himself when he remembered that she had agreed to meet his sister on the morrow and that she had let him escort her on boarding the carriage.

He then recalled her humming a soft tune earlier. Closing his eyes, he tried putting words to the tune as he continued to relive everything that had happened that afternoon.

_"She glanced my way, I thought I saw_

_And when we touched she didn't recoil and withdraw_

_No it can't be, I'll just ignore_

_But then she's never looked at me that way before."_

Fitzwilliam found himself smiling bigger as he remembered that Elizabeth had looked back at him from the carriage.

A few miles from Pemberly, Elizabeth sat on her bed. She could not sleep. Thoughts of Mr. Darcy kept her awake. He was so pleasant that afternoon that she felt she hardly knew him. Perhaps, she did. After all, Mrs. Reynolds did say nothing but praises for him.

When he had given her his letter and after she had read it many times, Elizabeth knew that she was prejudiced against him. But after today, she started thinking that she was entirely wrong against him. Brushing her hair, she looked at her reflection and sang once more.

_"New and a bit alarming_

_Who'd have ever thought that this could be?_

_Now, that his manner's pleasing_

_Guess there's something in him that I simply didn't see."_

When the Master of Pemberly and his sister asked the servants to show Pemberly on its best light for the upcoming visitors, Mrs. Reynolds and the others were curious. Who was coming to visit that the Darcy siblings couldn't seem to contain their excitement?

Some, have guessed, that perhaps the Master was in love… they seemed to be proven right when a Miss Elizabeth Bennet was announced, along with her Aunt and Uncle, and were happily greeted by Mr. and Miss Darcy.

The servants, as loyal as they were, couldn't help but whisper to one another. Even Mrs. Reynolds along with the butler and cook could not help but voiced out their thoughts.

_"Well, who'd have thought?"_

_"Well, bless my soul"_

_"Well, who'd have known?"_

_"Well, who indeed?"_

Georgiana Darcy watched his brother and Miss Elizabeth talk to one another. She sighed wistfully. _"And maybe soon I'd have a sister of my own…"_

_"It's so peculiar."_ Whispered Mrs. Gardiner to her husband as they watch Pemberly's servants see to their niece's needs every five minutes.

Everyone in the house had the same thought, save for the couple who were lost in each other's eyes to notice the people around them.

_"We'll wait and see_

_A few days more_

_There may be something there that wasn't there before."_

It seemed that Lizzy's opinion about Mr. Darcy had changed. The way she behaved around him now was so unlike her letters months previous. Mr. Gardiner looked at his wife after glancing at the couple.

_"You know, perhaps there's something there that wasn't there before."_

Darcy smiled inwardly as he met Elizabeth's eyes from the pianoforte across the room.

_"There may be something there that wasn't there before." _

He really hoped so.


	5. Marry You

**Still can't find a song for Lizzy so… here's another one featuring other characters.**

**"The Elopement"**

**Song Recommended: Marry You by Bruno Mars**

**Here it goes…**

* * *

**BRIGHTON - NIGHT**

The room is moderately large with some chandeliers emitting light from the ceiling. Musicians are on one corner of the room happily playing their respective instruments. THE PEOPLE, which composed of many OFFICERS, are doing various activities – many dancing and others chatting with their friends.

LYDIA BENNET stands near the refreshments. MR WICKHAM approaches her.

The spotlight is on them.

**WICKHAM**

(Singing)

_It's a beautiful night, we're looking for something fun to do_

_Miss Bennet, I think I want to marry you._

LYDIA bats her eye at WICKHAM but moves away the moment he could touch her hand. WICKHAM tries again and takes a step forward.

**WICKHAM**

(Singing)

_Is it the look in your eyes, or is it your liveliness?_

_Who cares, my dear? I think I wanna marry you._

LYDIA smiles and accepts his hand this time. WICKHAM kisses her knuckles before leading her to the dance floor.

The spotlight follows them.

**WICKHAM**

(Singing)

_I know this little chapel on Gretna Green_

_We can go-o-o-o_

_No one will kno-o-o-ow_

_Oh come on girl_

WICKHAM twirls LYDIA and bends her into a dip. LYDIA places her arms around WICKHAM's shoulders. WICKHAM winks and LYDIA giggles.

**WICKHAM**

(Singing)

_Who cares if we go now_

_Got a pocket full of pounds we can u-u-u-use_

_A carriage ri-i-i-i-ide_

_And it's on girl_

WICKHAM brings LYDIA back to a standing position and leads her to a balcony.

The spotlight follows them.

**WICKHAM**

(Singing)

_Don't say no, no, no, no, no_

_Just say yes, yes, yes, yes, yes_

_And we'll go, go, go, go, go_

_If you're ready_

LYDIA grabs WICKHAM's hand and discreetly walks him to her chamber.

**LYDIA**

(Singing)

Yes, I'm ready

LYDIA packs her things and writes a letter for Harriet Forster to give to her family. WICKHAM stands by the window and gestures to the dark sky outside.

**WICKHAM**

(Singing)

_'Cause it's a beautiful night, we're looking for something fun to do_

_My Lydia, I think I wanna marry you_

_Is it the way that you dance, or is it the way you laugh?_

_Who cares, my dear? I think I wanna marry you_

LYDIA finishes her letter and leaves it on the bed. WICKHAM grabs her hand and together they escape out of the house.

**WICKHAM**

_Oh_

_We don't need a ring_

_Let the choir bell sing like o-o-o-oh_

_Say what you want to do-o-o-o_

_Let's just run girl_

WICKHAM assists LYDIA to a rented carriage and kisses her on the lips. The carriage begins to move until it disappears completely.

FADE TO BLACK.


	6. What is this Feeling?

**"A Thin Line Between Love and Hate"**

**Set in Elizabeth's stay at Netherfield.**

**Song Recommended: **"What is this Feeling?" from Wicked by Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth

* * *

**NETHERFIELD – NIGHT**

The stage is split between MR DARCY and MISS ELIZABETH's BED CHAMBERS.

**DARCY**

_(Spoken)_

Dearest mother, father, and Georgiana

**ELIZABETH**

_(Spoken)_

My dear father

**ELIZABETH/DARCY**

_(Singing)_

There's been some confusion

In my stay here at Netherfield

**ELIZABETH**

_(Singing)_

But of course, I'll care for dear Jane

**DARCY**

_(Singing)_

But of course, I'll rise above it

**ELIZABETH/DARCY**

_(Singing)_

For I know that's how you'd want me to respond

Yes, there's been some confusion

For you see, the other guest here is

**DARCY**

_(Singing)_

An impertinent young miss with fine eyes and wit

That's altogether quite impossible to describe

**ELIZABETH**

_(Spoken)_

Tall

[The background will change from their bed chambers to **NETHERFIELD'S DRAWING ROOM - DAY**. ELIZABETH is sitting on a settee, holding a book. DARCY, is across her on the opposite side of the room, writing a letter. Between them are THE BINGLEYS and THE HUSRTS playing cards around a table.]

**DARCY**

_(Singing)_

What is this feeling,

So sudden and new?

**ELIZABETH**

_(Singing)_

I felt the moment

I laid eyes on you

**DARCY**

_(Singing)_

My pulse is rushing

**ELIZABETH**

_(Singing)_

My head is reeling

**DARCY**

_(Singing)_

My face is flushing

**ELIZABETH/DARCY**

_(Singing)_

What is this feeling?

Fervid as a flame

Does it have a name?

Yes!

Loathing/Liking

Unadulterated loathing/liking

**DARCY**

_(Spoken)_

For your eyes

**ELIZABETH**

_(Spoken)_

Your frown

**DARCY**

_(Spoken)_

Your singing

**ELIZABETH/DARCY**

_(Singing)_

Let's just say

[ELIZABETH looks up from her book and finds MR DARCY 'glaring at her to find fault'. ELIZABETH glares at him in return.]

**ELIZABETH/DARCY**

_(Singing)_

I loathe/like it all!

Every little trait however small

Makes my very flesh begin to crawl

With simple utter loathing/liking

There's a strange exhilaration

In such total detestation/infatuation

It's so pure! So strong!

Though I do admit it came on fast

Still I do believe that it can last

And I will be loathing/liking

Loathing/liking you

My whole life long!

[Upon noticing their staring contest, MISS BINGLEY decided to intrude in their silent conversation. MRS HURST follows her sister's lead.]

**MISS BINGLEY AND MRS HURST**

_(Singing)_

Dear Mr. Darcy, you are just too good

How do you stand it? I don't think I could!

The mom's a terror! They're all vulgar!

I don't mean to show a bias

But the Bennets are a horror!

**DARCY**

_(Singing)_

Well, these things are sent to try us!

**MISS BINGLEY AND MRS HURST**

_(Singing)_

Mister Darcy, forced to reside

With someone so disgustidified

We just want to tell you

We're all on your side!

We share your

[Neither ELIZABETH nor DARCY noticed MISS BINGLEY AND MRS HURST still singing in the background. The two of them were back at their staring contest. DARCY rises from his chair to stand by the window. ELIZABETH stands up across him.]

**ELIZABETH/DARCY**

_(Singing)_

What is this feeling

So sudden and new?

I felt the moment

I laid eyes on you

My pulse is rushing

My head is reeling

[The background will change from Netherfield's Drawing Room to **NETHERFIELD'S LIBRARY - NIGHT**. ELIZABETH is leaning her back on the bookshelf, a hand rubbing her temples. DARCY is leaning the door to the library, forcing himself to stop entering the room.]

**ELIZABETH/DARCY**

_(Singing)_

Oh, what is this feeling?

Does it have a name?

Yes

There's a strange exhilaration

In such total detestation/infatuation

It's so pure

**ELIZABETH/DARCY**

_(Singing)_

So strong!

[MR DARCY finally enters the library. He sees ELIZABETH browsing on the shelf. ELIZABETH does not notice his presence yet.]

**ELIZABETH/DARCY**

_(Singing)_

Though I do admit it came on fast

Still I do believe that it can last all

And I will be loathing/liking

For, forever loathing/liking

Truly, deeply loathing/liking you loathing/liking you

My whole life long!

[ELIZABETH finally picks a book and sits on the settee. MR DARCY sits on the chair across her. ELIZABETH does not notice.]

**DARCY**

_(Spoken)_

Miss Elizabeth

[ELIZABETH startles and jumps at the sound of MR DARCY's voice.]

**ELIZABETH**

(_Exclaims)_

Mr Darcy!

FADE TO BLACK.


End file.
